Real stories about crazy or funny jobs I've done.

I received an after hours emergency call from a lady who said she had a squirrel in her toilet. I was very doubtful about that call. Squirrels do not come up from the sewer system.

When I arrived, I opened the seat like an apprehensive child on Christmas morning. I’ll be darned if there wasn’t a squirrel in the toilet! The poor little thing was cold and tired. I fished him out while wearing welding gloves so he couldn’t bite through. He was so exhausted that he didn’t even try to bite.

After getting over the shock of finding a squirrel in the toilet, I had to sleuth out the situation to determine how the squirrel got into the toilet. After a round of questions with the homeowners, it was determined that the squirrel came into the house two days prior while the woman had the garage door open to carry in groceries. The squirrel had actually been living in her house for two days. She said that she kept finding things knocked over but dismissed it as the wind since the windows had been open. Eventually the squirrel discovered the open toilet lid and tried to get a drink of water and fell right in.

I didn’t think the squirrel would make it through the night but I took him home, dried him off, and put him in a box for the night. When I woke up, he was bright eyed and bushy tailed just like the saying goes.

A true account written by Kritter Kim

I responded to a call from a gentleman who had a raccoon peeking over his fence. It was 2:00 in the afternoon so there definitely shouldn’t be any peeking raccoons out at that time of day. That’s a sign of trouble. Raccoons may be out and about in the late morning or early evening but never in the middle of the day unless there is a predator or more common, a disease at play.

When I arrived, the raccoon, sure enough, was peeking over the fence. The customer confirmed that he had been there all day. A healthy raccoon will not let a human approach too closely. I walked up to it within a few feet. It was likely that it either had distemper or rabies.

I tried to snare it but it walked over to a different section of fence. It should have ran for the hills. Fortunately, there was a large tree stump in front of the section of fence where it was sitting. I was able to stand on that to get my snare over the fence. Just as I was about to pull the loop tight, he jumped. I did manage to snare him in mid air. From doing just such things, I’ve built up what I call my raccoon muscles. They can be quite heavy but I was able to lift him over the fence and place him in a trap.

A true account written by Kritter Kim

One of the most common phobias is ophidiophobia. Ophidiophobia is the fear of snakes. I almost always remove snakes for people who are afraid of them. That’s perfectly understandable. Some snakes like the rattlesnake are venomous and any snake bite can be scary and painful.

Once in a while though, the snake is the scared customer who needs help. I responded to a call from a customer who had a gopher snake in his yard which was wrapped up in a gardening net. The snake had slithered through some of the netting and the more he slithered, the more stuck he became.

Fortunately, I had a friend with me that day because it was a two person job. My friend held the snake behind the head so it couldn’t bite and the body so it couldn’t jerk around. I used small scissors to cut off the netting that was encasing its body.

The customer was happy to have the gopher snake around because they eat gophers and rats. Once the netting was removed, I let the snake go on about his business.

A true account written by Kritter Kim

Not every call I receive is about a nuisance animal. I also get plenty of calls for animals that are injured, stuck, or in some other sort of calamity.

I responded to a call for a skunk who had a rat trap stuck on his foot. He was in the customer’s backyard, squealing in pain, with no way to remove it. I like to remind people not to set rat traps outside unless they are in a protective box to avoid other animals getting their foot, or worse, their nose stuck in one.

As I approached the skunk to remove the trap, he ran through a gap in the fence. I couldn’t let the poor thing get away and I might have lost sight of him if I went all the way around through the gate. I pushed my trap up to the fence and used it to get a leg up to hop over the fence.

The little guy was in pain but he was even more scared of me even though I was there to save him. He was running down the drainage ditch with me in hot pursuit. Right before he got away, I was able to grab him by the tail before he dodged into a sewer opening. I removed the trap from his foot. It was swollen but not broken which was a relief. I took quite a few direct hits from his pew-pew end so my family steered clear of me for the rest of the evening.

A true account written by Kritter Kim

I responded to a call for a severe rat infestation. A very nice elderly lady lived alone and the rats had taken over her house. She was a sweet thing and couldn’t bear to kill them. The neighbors complained and the health department gave her 14 days to take care of the problem or the officials were going to step in and bill her for it. When her son-in-law found out, he enlisted my help.

On the first day I was there doing the initial inspection, her son-in-law drove down to help out with the situation. He had done his own assessment of the living space and told me he thought there were rat’s nests on a couple of shelves in a hutch in the kitchen. I climbed up on a chair to have a look. There were plenty of rats and at least two litters of babies behind the dishes.

The son-in-law found a picnic basket to contain them in. The plan was for me to catch them and he would lift the lid then slam it shut after I put the rat in there. That situation was like something straight out of a comedy show. I was grabbing rats by their tails and popping them one by one into the basket. For every 1 I caught, 1 or 2 jumped off the shelf right over my shoulder and hit the ground running. I managed to successfully catch and picnic basket 9 rats.

I returned on a different day to seal up all of the holes, and trust me, it was a very big job. I set more rat traps there than any other place I’ve ever trapped, at least 100. Once it was all said and done. I removed 29 rats from that house.

A true account written by Kritter Kim

I often get calls asking if various natural products will work to repel animals. People ask about mothballs for raccoons in the attic, peppermint oil for rats in the walls, and ammonia for squirrels in the yard, etc. When people ask about these things, I always tell them, “if those things worked, I wouldn’t have a job”. To be fair, I’m sure that home remedies have worked for some people, for some animals, in some situations. Home remedies are not a guaranteed solution in most cases though. Animals are resilient and very adaptable. It’s frequently said that bright lights and noise will scare away raccoons and coyotes. Cities are full of bright lights and noise. It won’t scare anything away because they’re used to it.

I went to one job where there was a skunk under the house. The customer had covered the area around the crawl space door with cayenne pepper because she read that it would get rid of a skunk. It definitely did not get rid of the skunk, which is why they had to call a professional. What cayenne pepper did manage to get rid of was me! I had to crawl through it in order to get under the house to remove the skunk. The cayenne pepper ended up burning my arms and giving me a rash. I sneezed for the rest of the day!

A true account written by Kritter Kim

I responded to a call for a bat in the living space of a house. This is a common occurrence. Sometimes they have a colony established within the structure and other times it’s just a rogue bat that flew in through an open door or window.

The customer was beside herself when I arrived. It had been flying around her bedroom then flew into the master bathroom. She closed the door to keep it contained until I arrived.

I went in armed with gloves and a net. Sitting on the shelf in the shower was a moth. It was a really big moth mind you. I can see how she might think it was a bat when coming from a fearful state of mind.

My net was too heavy to catch it and I would’ve killed it trying to pick it up with my gloves. I looked around the bathroom and saw a tampon box with only two items in it. I took them out and set the box down over top of the moth then slid my hand under it. It was contained so I could walk it through the house and release it outside.

The customer was very embarrassed and I tried to reassure her that things like this happen and it’s better to be safe than sorry. She was safe but I think she was pretty sorry when she wrote the check out for my fee.

A true account written by Kritter Kim

I responded to a call for a dead coyote behind a shed. No problem. That sounded easy enough. Boy was I wrong. The shed was set 8 inches from the house. There was no way a person could fit between the two. The shed was also 20 feet long and the dead coyote was at the very back. Hmm…

I paced around for a while and kicked the tires on my truck a couple of times. Then I channeled my inner MacGyver and thought of a plan. I duct taped my snake tongs to an extension pole. Snake tongs are pinchers on a long rod. They close by squeezing a lever on the handle. Obviously, I would not be able to squeeze the handle inorder to close the tongs to get the coyote. I duct taped an extension cord around the lever and the handle. Once I had the tongs attached to the extension pole in place, I pulled the extension cord to squeeze the lever thus grabbing onto the coyote. It took a few tries but I was able to pull him out. The customer was very grateful because it smelled terrible and they were going to have an outdoor dinner party the next day.

A true account written by Kritter Kim

More people than you might expect keep chickens in town. Occasionally I’ll get a call about an AWOL chicken. A lady called in because a chicken showed up at her house one day and refused to leave. She gave it a week before she called me. She lived on a busy street and was concerned for its safety.

I responded to the call expecting a quick pick up. How long can it take to catch a chicken right? Famous last words. Chickens don’t run fast but they run faster than me! I chased that chicken around and around in circles for at least 15 minutes. We were both tired by the end of the ordeal.

Once I caught her, she went into a cage and calmed right down. I then found a home for her with some friends who raise chickens. I’m sure she lived happily ever after.

A true account written by Kritter Kim

I responded to a call for a skunk under a house. I first located the broken vent that it had gained access through. Finding the skunk usually takes much longer than finding the access point. Skunks dig under the ground to make a burrow to live in. When looking for a burrow under a house, there’s no typical spot to check first. It’s a matter of crawling the whole perimeter until you find it. They like to burrow under the stem wall but occasionally they’ll make a burrow in the middle.

I’ve seen burrows that are just big enough for the skunk to fit in and I’ve seen them 5 feet deep underground. I was fortunate because this burrow was just a small skunk sized one. I could easily see the skunk. The poor guy was sick. He was sneezing and his eyes were watering.

This is why it’s important to call a professional to inspect when an animal has been under your home. Had the homeowner not called because they hadn’t seen him for a couple of days, he likely would’ve died under there creating an awful smell upstairs.

I easily put the loop of my snare around him and pulled him out. Once he was fully out of the burrow, I tucked his tail and held it down to prevent him from spraying me. Under that particular house, I had enough room to pull a trap in with me. I put him in the cage and crawled out, dragging the cage behind me.

A true account written by Kritter Kim

I had a customer with a serious rat infestation that had been going on for several years. They had a very old, multi level home. The first step as always, was to locate all of the entry points. Once all of the holes were sealed up, I did the rat trapping.

This particular customer had a dropped tile ceiling on the lower level of their home. In my opinion, getting rid of the dropped ceiling all together would have been the best solution. As a company though, I have to work within the parameters of what the customer wants and can afford. The customer liked the dropped ceiling but did not have the money to replace the tiles. I made a containment area using plastic. Then I removed as many tiles as I could in order to remove the rodent feces. In the areas where the tiles could not be removed, I used a vacuum with a hepa filter and a long hose to vacuum up what could not be reached. Each tile was then sprayed with a sanitizer and deodorizer. The containment area was taken down and another round of sanitizer was sprayed throughout the room.

A true account written by Kritter Kim

I responded to a call for a dead animal under a house. With these calls, you never know what you may encounter. I start by having the customer take me to the area of the house where the smell is the strongest. I confirm that what they smell is in fact a dead animal. It also gives me an idea of which way to go once I crawl under the house.

On this particular day, it was a big house and the smell was somewhere in the middle. The insulation was torn down in a lot of places so whatever was under there had been living there for awhile. Eventually I found a dead opossum. It took forever to find because I was looking at the ground. There were lots of flies in the area so I knew I was in the right place. The dead opossum was not on the ground. It had died between some pipes and the floor, and was very much stuck. The only part of it that I could see was the tail hanging down.

I tried to pull on it but that didn’t work, the outer skin just came off in my hand. It may have fit up there at one time but now it was swollen and puffy and would not slip out. I worked my way along the pipes pulling down insulation hoping to find an area where I could slide the opossum out.

I’m not afraid of animals...when I’m looking for them. I moved a piece of insulation and a baby opossum fell down. I screamed and jumped back. Quickly realizing what it was, I recovered enough to understand that my day just became more difficult. There’s never just one baby opossum. I started digging around for others. I got one or two and the others scattered. I removed the mother finally by sliding her along the pipe until it turned and I could pull her down. I took the babies I could catch with me, and had to set traps for the remaining fugitives. A dead animal job turned into a dead animal, a live animal removal, and a trapping job.

A true account written by Kritter Kim

When someone calls in to report that they have raccoons in their walls, they might be right. Most of the time noises in the walls signify rights but every once in a while it might be something bigger.

I went to a customer’s house because they said it sounded like something was about to break through their wall. It probably wasn’t going to break through but it sure was making a lot of noise. In some older houses there can be sections of wall cavity that are not closed off along the bottom into the crawl space or along the top into the attic. That leaves a perfect tunnel with a ladder for raccoons to move up and down between the two spaces. Either the raccoons entered the home through a hole in the roof or through a hole in the foundation.

Each scenario is different but in this situation I sealed up the open wall cavity in the attic because the raccoons had been entering through an open roof return. There were no holes in the foundation so the raccoons were essentially confined to the crawl space. I set up traps in the crawl space and caught them all in one night because they were hungry and had no way to get out to hunt for food.

A true account written by Kritter Kim

I responded to a call at a property up against a hillside. The customer had a gazebo towards the back of her yard with a closed in deck and walkway around it. There was a hole on one end which allowed a coyote to get inside and establish a den. The coyote had 2 pups. The woman told me on the phone that they were kitten sized. That sounded easy enough.

I fit through the hole comfortably but I had very little room once I was fully under the deck. All I could do was pull myself along, flat on my stomach. First I made sure that the mother was not at home. Then I went after the babies. They definitely were not kitten sized. They were about twice as large as a chihuahua. I hadn’t been nose to nose with too many coyotes before so I wasn’t sure what their temperament might be.

They had dug under the joists just enough to get to the far back of the enclosure. I couldn’t fit under there and it wasn’t worth the effort of digging a trench. I set up 2 traps just inside the opening because that area was more spacious. I closed up the opening to be sure nothing else could wander in and set off the trap. The next morning I had two sweet coyote puppies waiting for me in traps. I removed them and sealed off the deck permanently to prevent such a thing from happening again.

The original plan was to release the pups once the deck was sealed up so they could go back to their mama. The homeowner went a little nuts and suddenly refused to let me release them even though their mom had been circling the area looking for them.

It became a big fiasco. I called a wildlife rehabilitator and she tried to reason with the customer because babies are always better off with their mother. The customer straight up told her that if I let those pups go, she would kill them herself. That was a bit drastic. I doubt she would have but I took them to the rehabilitator anyway. I wasn’t really surprised by the lady’s moodswings. When I had asked to use her restroom she said, “Sure, you can use the coke bathroom down the hall.” No joke, she said that!

A true account written by Kritter Kim

I responded to a call at an apartment complex for something making noise in the wall of a closet. A few days prior, another company had removed a mom and baby raccoons from the attic. I suspected the two events were related.

I had the tenant show me where they were hearing the noise. I located the wall stud which was exactly where they pointed. That means whatever was in there was either on one side or the other. I banged on the wall to try to get it to make some noise but it was radio silence. In those situations, the only thing to do is pick a side, cut it open, and hope for the best.

Once again, my trapper intuition paid off. I cut into the correct bay. There was one juvenile raccoon in there. He had fallen down into the wall cavity from the attic. He was a feisty little guy. When I pulled him out, he was covered in drywall dust from the cutting and was coughing a bit but he was okay and able to go to a rehabilitator.

A true account written by Kritter Kim

I was helping out a fellow trapper one day. We were at one of his jobs sealing up entry points for a rat issue. The customer mentioned that they were seeing dropping and chewing in their pantry. Put me in coach!

I went into the pantry and shut the door. In the event the rat was actually in there, I needed to keep it contained and prevent it from running through the kitchen terrifying the occupants. I picked a corner and started moving things. It didn’t take long for me to hear some movement that wasn’t my own. I moved things a bit more gingerly until I found it. Honestly, I wasn’t expecting to find the rat in there. Usually they scurry back into their access hole as soon as a person approaches.

I didn’t have anything with me so I looked around and found an empty, mixed nuts jar with a lid. The rat was between the wall and an old toaster oven. As I pulled the toaster oven forward, I popped the container right down on top of the rat. Then I slid the jar and the rat into the open and carefully lifted it enough to get the lid under it.

I carried my jar-o-rat back out to a very surprised colleague and customer. The rat hadn’t personally offended my pantry so I took him along with me. I put air holes in the jar and he rode shotgun like an old friend for the rest of my work day. Then I gave him another shot at life and let him go in a big park.

A true account written by Kritter Kim

On more occasions than I care to mention, people hear a raccoon in their attic and call a roofer instead of a professional wildlife technician. The roofer then comes out, chases the raccoon out of the attic, and seals the hole. A day or two later the customer calls me either because the raccoon came back and ripped a new hole into their attic or because they now are hearing the sounds of raccoon kits crying for their mother.

If it’s a singular raccoon, it’s best to trap it and remove it permanently from the area. Raccoons are very adamant about getting back into their established den.

If it’s a mother raccoon, she and the babies need to be removed together if at all possible. Most of the time the mother will keep coming back trying to get to her babies but some will give up especially if they were traumatized while being chased out. Once I remove the babies, I will put them in a box on the roof for one night in hopes that the mother comes back to retrieve them. The next morning, if she has not relocated the babies, I take them to a rehabilitator.

A true account written by Kritter Kim

I responded to a call for a dead animal. The homeowner was an architect and built his own house. It was quite a house but most unusual. The house had an upper and lower story on each side with a long hallway in the middle that was essentially a bridge over a little stream. The animal could be smelled a little bit in the hallway, a lot in the upper story on the right side, and a heck of a lot on the lower story of the right side.

I deduced the animal must be between the upper and lower level, so in the ceiling of the lower level.

That room was an open kitchen and living room. Fortunately he had the type of light fixtures that could easily be pulled out. Unfortunately, he had about 20 lights. There’s no science to finding the animal in a situation like this. It just takes some common sense and a little trapper intuition.

I determined where I thought the smell was the strongest. The odor wafts around with the air flow of the HVAC system so it was hard to tell for sure. I picked a light fixture and said I was going to start there. I lucked out and that’s exactly where the dead animal was! It was a dead opossum. Fortunately, he addressed the problem before the animal deteriorated to a point that it was bloated. If that would’ve happened, it would have been a terrible mess trying to pop it before pulling it out of that little hole. Even in this best case scenario, maggots still rained down on his very clean kitchen floor as I pulled it down into a bag.

A true account written by Kritter Kim

A Day in the Life of an Animal Trapper

I do not get a lot of calls regarding rabbits because they rarely annoy the good people of the community. When I do it’s either because they’re eating the garden or one got into the house. If they’re eating the garden, there’s not much I can do. Trapping rabbits in a cage is difficult. A cage trap works by luring animals inside using food that they regularly do not eat, therefore the unique smell intrigues them enough to venture into an unknown box. This does not work very well with rabbits. I cannot use rabbit food because wild rabbits have never eaten it before and wouldn’t want to. I do not use greens because rabbits essentially live in a giant salad bowl.

I am not saying that one cannot trap rabbits using vegetables. I am saying that I do not trap rabbits because it is not cost effective for the customer. My standard two week trapping program is likely not long enough time to put in the due diligence required for rabbit trapping. You have to play the long game for rabbits. Since vegetables are being used, they must be changed every single day for freshness. Veggies aren’t like cat food, they do not put off a strong odor to attract animals from across the yard. There’s no way to know what vegetable will appeal to a rabbit more than the ones its already eating. The first question people ask is if they can bait the trap using the vegetables from the garden that the rabbits are accustomed to eating. Doubtful because the rabbits aren’t going to go out of their way and into a strange box when they can simply eat from the garden as usual. Therefore it’s a matter of trying different vegetables in the trap each day. If the rabbits are already full from eating in the garden, they may never bother to investigate the new vegetables in the trap. Due to all of these factors, it could take a month to catch a single rabbit if at all. This is why I do not do rabbit trapping. However, I will offer to rent a trap to a customer if they are willing to put forth the necessary effort and clearly understand that there are no guarantees.

On one occasion, myself and two other participants took nets and tried to catch a fluffle of rabbits that were living in a neighborhood. Yes, that is correct, a group of rabbits is called a “fluffle”. We didn’t catch a single rabbit but we did put on a good show for the neighbors.

On another occasion, a lady had a bunny run into her house and into a hole leading to the area below her cabinets. Most cabinets have an empty cavity below the “floor” of the cabinet. I frequently get calls for rats in those areas. This time though, it was a juvenile rabbit. The woman would not wait for it to come out on its own because she had cats and dogs. She insisted I get it out on the spot. The cabinets were in a parlor and were 12 feet long. After cutting 2 holes to no avail, the rabbit popped right back out of the hole it entered through and I was able to grab it and put it in a cat carrier. The woman was also adamant that she wanted to keep it and raise it as a pet. I’m not sure how that part turned out though.

A true account written by Kritter Kim

A customer lived on a large property with a lot of vegetation. A skunk was visiting regularly, and he wanted it trapped and removed because it kept spraying his dog. I set up 2 traps as usual. The next day I received a call that one of the traps had caught a fox. In situations like this, I simply release the nontarget animal on site.

The next day, the gentleman called to say that we had caught the fox again. When I went out to release it, I realized that it was a different fox. I had taken pictures of the first one, and this definitely wasn’t it. When I caught the third fox, it was obvious there was a den on site or on the neighbor’s property.

So I did the only logical thing I could do, I put a sign on the trap that said, “no foxes allowed”. As a trapper, I cannot control Mother Nature’s pets but I can have a sense of humor about it. I would say that the sign worked because I didn’t catch any more foxes, but it’s more likely that I caught and released the whole family and after their experiences, they became what is called “trap shy” and will never go in another trap again. Some animals, like raccoons figure it out and will not get caught more than once while others like opossums will go in the same trap over and over again.

A true account written by Kritter Kim

I responded to a call for a rabid raccoon. The poor thing was hanging around outside the door of a business when the employees arrived to work. He was lethargic and had a lot of mucus coming out of his eyes and nose. It was broad daylight but when they’re in that condition, their senses go out the window.

I got him backed into a corner and was easily able to loop my snare around him. He didn’t even put up a fight. Afterwards, I sprayed sanitizer on the concrete in the areas he had walked on then let it set for a few minutes. I rinsed the entire area with a garden hose afterwards. Everyone was able to get inside the building to go to work whether they wanted to or not.

A true account written by Kritter Kim